


Forgotten

by lesbianneptune



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: AU, Angst, F/F, cw for blood violence and themes of war, inspired heavily by final fantasy type 0
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-04
Updated: 2015-04-04
Packaged: 2018-03-21 05:05:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3678684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianneptune/pseuds/lesbianneptune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. In a world where the memories of the dead are wiped from the minds of the living, eleven military cadets are fighting a war it is near impossible to win.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgotten

Haruka sauntered into the classroom with her hair stuck up on one side and a gentle grin brightening her eyes. The other girls descended on her instantly, Minako pulling Usagi up to greet the newcomer, as their commander tutted and sighed at the ruckus she had caused purely through herpresence. It was virtually unheard of for the academy to take on new cadets this late into the term and he was already beginning to regret their exceptions for the supposedly talented Haruka Tenoh.

As the other cadets fussed and welcomed the stranger, Michiru stayed at the bench where she was sat, her interest piqued but her pride holding her back.

“Hello handsome.”

Michiru felt instant distaste at the purr that vibrated through Minako’s voice. This visceral jealousy struck her as somewhat odd – she, after all, had never met this woman before and she was hardly one to get involved in the nervous tittering of the schoolgirls she was forced to share a class with. Yet, as her eyes met Haruka’s, she felt a sudden pull, her face flushing uncharacteristically.  _Perhaps this is what the others describe as a crush,_ she mused to herself, turning away from the scene and staring hard at her textbook. Whilst Michiru had experienced her fair share of brief, fleeting relationships with the other cadets at the academy, she had never before felt herself react with anything deeper than a base physical attraction; her romantic endeavours often began and ended in the bed of her first floor dormitory and formed little more than a much-needed escape from the day-to-day confines of military life.

Haruka, however, was different, an injection of vitality into the repetition that shaped Michiru’s experience with a world she had little interest in. This she had known from that very first day.

“Tenoh. Please do take a seat. You’ve already disrupted this class enough,” the commander’s voice was curt, and Haruka ran a hand through her hair sheepishly.

“Sorry, Sir.”

Michiru bit down hard on her lip, half-hoping the blonde would choose to sit next to her, but half-hoping she could avoid her, push away the vulnerability of her own freshly discovered emotions and get on with her task. She read the first line of the passage again and again, a stuck record against the backdrop of the incoming sound of Haruka’s footsteps.

“Hey,” Haruka whispered, shuffling along the bench and opening her own tattered copy of the text. She fidgeted childishly as the commander droned on about military procedures and squad formations.

Michiru heard none of it. From that day on, her focus was no longer that of eliminating the Empire, fighting the rival armies, or even completing her studies as a cadet.

From that day on, Michiru’s focus was Haruka, and Haruka alone.

—

“It hurts, Michiru…” Haruka whispers. Michiru presses soft lips to her forehead, tasting the metallic blood beneath and suppressing a shudder. Her blade lies abandoned beside her, and not even when an imperial soldier appears on the horizon does she move to grab it.

“Michi…Michi watch out…” Haruka splutters, flecks of red staining her skin as she coughs.

“I don’t care. Let him do what he pleases. I’m dead without you anyway,” Michiru murmurs, cradling Haruka’s body close and burying her head into her shoulder. Haruka chokes back a sob. In a blur, a petite blonde shoots forward out of nowhere and takes the soldier out with one flick of her sword. Blood showers over her; the damning evidence of her actions, of the life she had so quickly and mercilessly taken. She flicks the gore from her sword distastefully and readjusts the bow in her hair before approaching the two fallen soldiers.

As she takes in the extent of Haruka’s wounds, the smile on her face disappears as quickly as it had arrived. She kneels next to her, gripping one bloodied hand and rubbing a thumb across it, her usual trademark of lovable humour forgotten in the face of certain death.

“Buddy…I’m so sorry…who did this to you? I swear if I find out who did this…I swear…” Minako pauses, bowing her head. To cry at this point would be insulting not only to Michiru’s grief, but to her duties as a cadet.

Nonetheless, the tears fall.

“Minako,” Michiru says, her demeanour faux-calm in the face of a classmate she had never trusted, “You must remember that Usagi needs you right now. The dominion needs you.  Leave us be, please.”

“I said, who did it? Come on, Kaioh. I loved her too. At least give me this.”

“The man who did this is now splattered across three separate streets in the Northern Quarter. If you wish to go and check, I can give you directions. Rest assured, the man is more than dead,” Michiru replies coldly.

“You two know I’m still here, right?” Haruka interrupts, her voice weak but her effort strong.

“Of course. Not even a rapier to the chest could get you to shut up,” Minako attempts to joke, but her voice cracks mid-sentence.

“Minako, don’t make me call the commander. You have duties to be attending to.”

“We knew we were gonna die when we signed up to this,” Minako murmurs, seemingly ignoring Michiru, “Doesn’t make it fair, though.”

“Minako-“

“You know, I never thought you were good enough for her, Kaioh. I still don’t think you are. But I’ll give you this – you’re dedicated.”

“Minako, please-“

“I know, I know. I’ll see you on the other side, buddy,” she says gently to her best friend, “Don’t have too much fun without me, you hear?”

“Damn you…..I’ll…do whatever…I want…” Haruka stammers the words out, wincing with each movement.

“God. I’m gonna miss you, you big gay,” Mina whispers, kissing Haruka’s forehead before darting back to her squad, lost once more in the chaos of battle.

“Michi?”

“Yes, my love?”

“When…when…we get married, can Mina be…my best woman?”

Michiru looks down at Haruka and strokes a clump of hair back from her sweatstained face. She closes her eyes, pictures the face she knows so well smiling at her as she walks down the aisle. She pictures those hands shaking not with pain, but with nerves. She pictures herself, happy, loved and complete, safe in the knowledge that she could always protect the sole person she had ever truly cared for. She opens her eyes again and the dreams evaporate into an air thick with the stench of death. The body she had sworn always to protect lies broken in her lap, the wound where the enemy’s sword had driven through her seeping with blood. The face she had imagined so carefree and blissful is contorted with pain.

She suddenly feels vomit in the back of her mouth.

There is no way Haruka can survive, even with the healing capabilities of their team.

“Yes, my love. Yes. If it makes you happy, I’ll put up with her for the entire day,” Michiru replies through her tears.

—

Haruka had been assigned as Minako’s sparring partner early on in their training. The CO had decided, as Seiya put it, that the “two most arrogant dickheads in the room should surely be made to fight each other.” Michiru’s initial displeasure at not being paired up with her girlfriend dissipated as she watched them battle; she had been foolish to believe she would ever have had the antipathy to even strike Haruka, never mind beat her to the ground. They had been dating since the second week of term, a rash decision driven primarily by their sudden and complete inability to stay apart from one another. (Michiru had always said she did not believe in concepts of fate and destiny, but when it came to Haruka, she felt she could believe anything.) It helped somewhat that Michiru had never herself had friends to keep up with, being a self-induced social outcast amongst the class and Haruka had been new in town, fresh off the boat from the capital, ready and waiting to be introduced to the sights and sounds of the academy.

Michiru, of course, had been more than happy to show her all that, and much more.

Still, Haruka’s budding friendship with one Minako Aino irritated Michiru perhaps more than it should have. The girl was ruthless and uncouth, and chased that which she wanted with a particular kind of disregard for her surroundings. No, Michiru had never trusted her, not with a heart as susceptible to pain as Haruka’s.

That day, she observed them from the sidelines with her own partner, Ami, who was perched next to her, fixing up her handguns. The girl modified them endlessly, and though she certainly seemed to enjoy the engineering of her weapons, her use of them was stunted and nervous.

If you asked Michiru, there was no way such a girl could last more than a few days in the field.

She was easy enough to get along with, however, and Ami never seemed to mind taking frequent breaks - anything to avoid physical fighting - which allowed Michiru more than enough time to keep a watchful eye on Haruka’s practice sessions.

“Ruka, seriously. You’re fucking up-“ Minako dodged one of Haruka’s daggers easily and smirked, “-so much today.”

“Maybe if you would just shut the hell up, I’d be able to concentrate. By God, you’re going to talk the damned enemy to death,” Haruka replied angrily.

“I’d still win though,” Minako pointed out, circling her, longsword clattering against dagger as she struck again and again.

“Asshole.”

“Seriously, what is with you today?” Minako flipped backwards out of reach of her partner, “Wait wait wait. I got it. I know what’s up.”

“Nothing’s-,” Haruka grunted, striking forward and failing again, “-up!”

“Now, now, now, Ruka, don’t lie to me. I saw you sneaking back into your dorm this morning. You’ve been banging Kaioh again, haven’t you?”

Haruka spluttered, her daggers dropping to the floor as she blushed a deep red. Minako had made sure to say her words as loudly as possible and the entire room erupted into whispers and giggles. Class Zero may have been training to become killers, but they were still little more than children, Michiru thought dismissively. As she approached, she absent-mindedly swept her cape behind her, revealing the handle of her own blade.

Minako merely began to laugh again, much to Michiru’s frustration.

“Here she is, come to defend her girlfriend. I thought you had more balls than that, Ruka, I have to admit,” Minako punched Haruka playfully, snickering.

“Actually, I thought perhaps we could have a word in private?” Michiru asked coldly, staring Mina straight in the eyes.

“Uhhh. Okay. Sure?” Mina frowned as she followed Michiru through to the hallway.

“Though if this is about sex tips, that might be kinda weird, I mean Ruka’s my buddy- shit, Kaioh, did you have to slam the door that hard?”

“I do not care what rumours you wish to spread about me. I do not myself care if you wish to tell this entire institution about my sex life – by all means, I expect you already have. The whispers of the crude do not hold weight in my mind. But they do in Haruka’s.”

“Yo, Michiru, I was just teasing her-“

“Yes. But she is not ready to be teased like that. You may think you know her, Minako, but you will never know her as well as I. And she is not ready to face facts about our relationship.”

“So…so you two ARE doing it?”

“Well. That was never in question. What is, however, in question is the way you are going to behave now you are aware of this situation. If I find that Haruka is being put under undue stress through the rumours flying around about our relationship, I will know exactly who has been spreading those rumours. And I will not hesitate to silence those rumours.”

“This is so fucked. She’s my best fucking friend, you damned control freak,” Minako spat, heading for the door. Michiru pulled her back.

“If she was your “best fucking friend”, as you so eloquently put, you would realise that she does not appreciate the whole class knowing the details of her sex life.”

Minako stormed away then, muttering curses under her breath, but Michiru later caught her attempting a half-apology to a very confused Haruka.

Michiru, as always, had won the fight.

—

They are forgotten, it seems.  The battle has moved on, to destroy a different part of the town, to murder another slew of helpless teenagers trapped in a bloody war they could not have forseen. Michiru hears the cries and shouts in the distance and she fleetingly wonders if they belong to her classmates, her supposed loved ones, her friends if only by name.

She feels not even the slightest guilt as she realises she doesn’t even care.

“I’m…I’m going to die, aren’t I?” Haruka whispers, raising her head from Michiru’s shoulder weakly.

Michiru does not reply, but the truth is obvious in every tear she sheds.

She wishes she could tear the pain from Haruka’s body and implant it into herself, wishes she could pull the wound from her skin and embed it into her own chest, wishes she could summon the Gods and order them to allow her to sacrifice herself right here and right now for the one dying next to her.

For Michiru knows that as she loses Haruka, she loses the only part of herself she had ever truly cared for. She cannot, she thinks, return to the empty vessel she once was, the child waiting endlessly for something, anything, to make her feel as though she is actually living. She would not even be allowed to treasure the thoughts of happier times – the war, as it had taken everything else, would rip those from her too.

—

“When we die, the state erases all memories of us, so we can keep on fighting without being held back by thoughts of those who have fallen,” Ami chewed her lip as she explained. The class were relaxing in the lounge just before their first mission, waiting for their briefing.

“No way!”

“You can’t be serious!”

“That’s ridiculous; they can’t seriously think they can do that!”

“It does make sense. It makes us more efficient, as soldiers,” Minako pointed out to the horrified crowd of cadets.

“That’s not the point!” Seiya bit back, “It’s like the dominion doesn’t care about us at all! We’re people too!”

“But we’re not,” Hotaru replied quietly, “We’re not people. Not to them. To them we’re weapons.”

The class went silent and Michiru wrapped a protective arm around Haruka.

“How do you know this stuff, anyway? Maybe I don’t believe you,” Yaten said, glaring at Ami. Ami shrunk back slightly.

“W-well. The CO pulled me aside earlier and explained everything to me, about how it all works. He wished me to pass on this information so we would know what to expect when….when…”

“When people die in today’s mission,” Rei finished for her, staring blankly out of the window, only the fidgeting of her hands as they pulled restlessly at a loose skirt thread exposing her nerves.

Seiya snorted.

“Nobody’s gonna die! We’re the top cadets in the academy! We’ve trained for months for this, come on. There’s not a practice drill in existence we can’t ace.”

“The key word being practice, Kou,” Haruka interrupted, “Anyway, if you’re not prepared to sacrifice yourself, you shouldn’t even be here.”

“I’m not saying I’m not prepared! I’m saying we’re not gonna die,” Seiya replied lightly, clapping Haruka on the shoulder. Michiru felt Haruka bristle in response.

“When are you finally going to fucking realise that this isn’t a game?” she asked sharply.

“When it stops being fun,” Seiya replied, grinning and perching herself on a desk, “Besides, I have faith in all of you. Especially my beautiful Odango.”

The class groaned.

“What!? What did I say!?”

“You’re so gross sometimes,” Yaten complained.

“Just because I have a girlfriend and you don’t,” Seiya smirked. Yaten was about to jump on her before Taiki stepped between them.

“Stop it, you two. If I could steer the conversation back on track, I can verify Ami’s claims,” she stated, pushing a growling Yaten back into her seat with one hand.

“How come?” Seiya frowned. Believing in Ami’s stammered words was one thing, but Seiya had always trusted Taiki to tell her the absolute truth. They had been born in the same village and the bonds between the two of them and Yaten were solidified with age.

“I…did some research in the restricted section of the library,” Taiki said, a faint blush on her cheeks.

“WHAT!? Wait. Are you telling me the restricted section  _isn’t_  porn?”

Taiki’s blush deepened at Minako’s words as Seiya almost fell over laughing.

“There’s top secret military information in there,” Rei’s voice was sharp and accusing, “What on Earth possessed you to go there without permission?”

“I was bored,” Taiki shrugged, “I’d read everything in the main library.”

“I think that may be the most Taiki thing you’ve ever said,” Yaten mused.

“Okay. So. This is real, right? We forget the people that die?” Seiya said, suddenly serious. The room went quiet for a few moments as the cadets considered this.

“How do we know people even lived? How do we know who’s dead and who’s not?” Mako asked.

“You know our ID tags? Well, we leave them here before we go into battle,” Taiki explained, “If nobody comes back to collect the tag, that person died, and a stone is put up in the cemetery with their name on it.”

“Even though nobody remembers them?”

“Even though nobody remembers them.”

“Oh.” Mako stared at the floor, wrapping her arms around herself. Usagi jumped up, keen to dispel the uneasy atmosphere.

“It’s okay! We just have to survive! Like Seiya said. We just have to make it through. Then nobody dies and nobody forgets anybody!” she said chirpily.

With the tension broken, the conversation moved easily onto more pressing matters, such as Minako’s quest to chat up their commanding officer and how on Earth Usagi had actually managed to score a 0 on yesterday’s history test.  As the cadets gossiped, Haruka slipped away with Michiru on her heels.

“You’re stressed,” Michiru said matter-of-factly as they reached the yard.

“I can’t believe they’re not taking this seriously. We have to give our lives for this mission, Michiru. We will fight until the death to defend the dominion. It’s the oath we swore when we took up these posts. And they’re in there, talking bullshit about things that don’t even fucking matter. It’s so stupid,” Haruka said angrily, kicking at a bench.

“I know. I know,” Michiru replied as she let her fingers drift across Haruka’s back in an attempt to calm her, her touch slightly cooling the rage born from the helplessness of their lives and cause. Haruka had always been almost scarily dedicated to the oaths they had taken, as though doubting them for even a second would cause everything they had worked for to fall apart. This, after all, was their lives now, and no amount of meandering around the subject would change the fact that they had lay down their lives on the words they had promised that day, nor would it change the fact that their very existence served purely to end the existence of others. It was an odd thing, Michiru thought, to be driven by death.

“Ruka?” Michiru murmured, sprinkling kisses up Haruka’s neck.

“Mmhm?”

“About what Taiki said. Did that bother you?”

“Why would it bother me?” Haruka snorted, “All we have is the mission, Michiru. All this other stuff, it doesn’t matter.”

_You matter,_ Michiru thought.

“I mean. Maybe it’d even be better that way. When I die, I don’t want you to have to grieve for me. I want you to carry on.”

Michiru decided, there and then, that she would never allow Haruka to die, not whilst she still lived, not whilst she still existed to protect her. She would fall in battle and Haruka would forget everything, feel no pain, and go on to live a healthy and happy life. Ignorance, after all, was surely bliss.

And the memories of Haruka would cradle Michiru, even in the cold grip of death.

—

“I’ve failed you,” Michiru whispers into Haruka’s damp hair, “I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.”

“No. I…I’ve failed the dominion. How pathetic…being taken out…by a foot soldier…” Haruka says bitterly, her fingers curling around one of her daggers. She had always been known as one of the stars of the class, a talent both in speed and strength, but when it came to it, she had flinched and fallen back at the sight of an already wounded enemy. Michiru had called to her, screamed to her, ordered her to just kill the girl and her own targets were forgotten as she ran, stumbling desperately towards her. But Haruka had been frozen to the spot, caught in her own pity and love and guilt – weaknesses that would lead to her mortal wounding at the hands of a passing enemy soldier.

She should have never left her side, Michiru thinks to herself, and she wants to scream at the unfairness of it all. Haruka is slipping away, clinging to life with nothing more than a thread, but she still tries, still pulls herself up to stroke fingers across Michiru’s face, to feel her skin for the last time.

“Michi…I love you. I…know you’re gonna forget this-“

“I won’t, ever.  I’ll never forget you, I couldn’t-“

“Michi,” Haruka shuddered, “I…need to say this. I need to. I don’t have much…time. I want you…to forget me…I. I want you to marry another and live…live as though I…never existed. I’m…I’m happy. I’m happy…that you won’t suffer.”

“How can you say I won’t suffer!? Don’t play a fucking martyr now, Haruka. I always said I don’t want to live without you, and I don’t. I won’t forget. I’ll never forget. I kept a diary, did you know that? I wrote down everything. I wrote down everything about every day, every time you smiled, every time we kissed, every feeling I ever had. I said I’d dedicate my life to you and I will. They’ll never take you away from me, Ruka. I won’t let them.”

“You’re…stubborn as hell,” Haruka smiles, “but I’m glad. I’m glad that, this time, you’re…you’re wrong. Don’t…don’t argue. Just hold me.”

For once, Michiru does as she is told.

And as the beats of Haruka’s heart fade away into oblivion, they take Michiru’s memories of her along with them.


End file.
